Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

I cannot believe it has been 3 months since I last posted. It has been a busy fall, clearly. We'll start with the holiday and work our way backward.

Aunt Edna, Knighten, and Nancy drove up from New York to join me for Christmas last Tuesday. We ate magnificent food, that included a spectacular dinner that Knighten made for us Christmas eve (and he graciously accommodated my housemates who decided to join us at the last minute - with guests, making our dinner for 4 now a dinner for 8), dinner at Simon Pearce (the lovely restaurant that hosted Laura Bush and Tyra Banks this Summer and is overlooking the Quechee covered bridge and water fall), egg nog, wine, and the NY Times in front of the woodstove, and shopping in Woodstock (Ladies' Home Journal named Woodstock, Vermont as the prettiest small town in the USA, and National Geographic concurred, and described it as one of the ten most beautiful small towns in the USA. The American Architectural Society went one step further and stated: "it is perfect - if any town in any country can be."). My housemates said it was their best Christmas EVER! And it was lovely to have family here for my first Christmas in Vermont.

Interestingly, Woodstock was just named in the Top Ten Places to Spend Christmas in the US! (http://www.americasbestonline.net/index.php/pages/bestchristmastowns.html). Kennebunkport, ME (one of my new favorite summer spots) and Mackinac Island (a Michigan favorite) also made the list! So I hope these travel nuggets nudge some more of you in my direction sometime soon! And if that's not enough, here's another tasty tidbit:

Every morning I have coffee and read the newspaper at the Farmers Diner in Quechee. It's a quaint little spot which features locally grown food and is partially housed in a railroad car. This morning, as I was having a lazy, late morning coffee and spinach/blue cheese/scallion omelet, a photographer from GQ Magazine was there taking photos for an upcoming feature! So GQ readers, watch for me in the background of the shot! I am at the counter in a grey sweater, brown books, and navy dress. According to the waitstaff, Farmers Diner is also featured in the January 2009 issue of Bon Appetit (see link: http://www.bonappetit.com/magazine/2009/01/a_chefs_breakfast ). Fun, eh?

Early December found me in Michigan, for Sally's 40th birthday and the joint celebrations of Julia's birthday, Joshua's birthday, Brian's birthday, and my birthday. I had a great time running around visiting friends and family and catching up with everyone. Highlights included: family dinner at Shogun, going to Alex's Christian High B-ball game, taking my 4 nieces and nephews shopping for their Christmas presents, breakfast with daddy at Brandywine, Pam hosting a party for me at her house, massage by Judit, birthday lunch with bethany folks, taking Brian, Sally and the kids to Chophouse for her birthday dinner, wine with Kimberly, drinks with Cheryl/Kimmie, cafe mocha with Felicia and Daniel, lunch @ John and Hazels, Osta's takeout with Clarice, and much much more. It's amazing what you can pack into a week when you need to!

The November highlights, besides the election of our new fantastic President, Thanksgiving in NYC at a Korean spa (with a bazillion other Koreans); a weeklong trip to Sighisoara Romania to see my friend Elena and lead 2 seminars for Veritas, a social service agency; a fantabulous gospel concert @ Dartmouth; and my boss telling me that I "work harder than anyone she has ever met" (which cannot be true, but it's nice to know she does notice my efforts.). I do work alot, but not in any outrageous amounts I don't think. The Sighisoara trip blog is located below - yes, I know it is far overdue, but it is here for those of you who are interested.

October was a lovely month. Fall colors and all that. Vermont is truly lovely and I thoroughly enjoyed "experiencing the season." Daddy came for another visit and we visited Fort Ticonderoga in upstate NY (on Lake Champlain), a Shaker museum/farm in New Hampshire, the White Mountains, and otherwise just hung out and read and enjoyed strawberry shortcake and other yummy goodies.

In September, I went to an Ethics training on the southern coast of Maine (I DO love the ocean), had several trips to New Haven CT to continue my orientation to the agency, and joined 30 of our foster parents in Boston for the agency 2-day foster parent conference.

So that's about it! No critter sightings, haven't gotten my car stuck in Vermont mud again, and am otherwise doing pretty well for 9 months into this major life move.

So what's coming up for me in 2009? A few things:

*Trip with Dad to Belize in February or March 2009. This is my 3rd time, his 4th. This year, in addition to snorkeling, we're adding scuba diving and zip lining to the itinerary.

*Consulting on a screenplay for a film about a korean adoptee who returns to Korea with her American adoptive mother. A local film writer (nora jacobson, Off The Grid Productions, http://www.offthegridproductions.com/ ) lives here and heard about me and gave me a copy of her screenplay. I have been asked to give input and may join a reading of the script, playing the part of the rebellious 17 year old adoptee. This is her 4th film.

*Trip to Vegas to join Amy and Mike and crew for their annual Vegas extravaganza (and hopefully a trip to Florida to see their new home!)

*A long weekend in January in NYC with my friend NaLee, who just moved to DC.

*Hosting Paul, Deb, Tony, and Jennifer when they come visit this summer for a week.

And that's about it!

I hope you and yours are well, warm, safe, and dry this wet, rainy day. It's supposed to be 50 degrees here in Vermont tomorrow and from what I hear, the rest of the nation is experiencing the same schizo-weather of unseasonably warm days, then snowy freezing days, then freezing rain, then snow (even in Vegas), then wicked warm again. I love you and hope to talk to you soon.

Marilee
(Romania Trip blog below)
Romania Trip 2008

On Monday, October 27, I flew out of Boston Logan for my long awaited trip to Sighisoara Romania. After a chilly, rainy, windy, cloudy 11 hour layover in Paris France (which consisted of a lot of espresso on plastic-draped sidewalk cafes, a lot of “So there’s the Eiffel Tower, Arc d’Trumphe, etc… ok, now some chocolate… ok, the Louvre… ok, how about a croissant and an umbrella…” (sigh, and me subsisting on only 3 hours sleep on the redeye), I landed in Bucharest Tuesday evening and was greeted at the airport by my friend Elena and her husband, Valer (Vah-lair). We were about to embark on a week long visit at their home in Sighisoara, with me knowing no Romanian except (Bine, phonetically BEE-nay = good) and them knowing little english (or in Valer’s case, no english). For those of you who may remember, Elena was in Michigan last fall to be with her only child, Ani, a 26 year old Kuyper college student, as Ani fought, and ultimately lost, her battle with ovarian cancer. Because Elena and I have kept in touch via periodic text messaging and monthly phone calls via translators, I had promised to come see her. And I wanted to see her before the first anniversary of Ani’s death on November 21, 2008.

Elena and Vali live in a very clean, cozy, efficient, 2-bedroom / 1 bath, ground floor apt on the east side of Sighisoara. The apt is in a 5-story cement “block” building in a large complex, not unlike those cement block buildings found in Seoul, Bucharest, and other large cities. Although their area of the city is pretty modern, Sighisoara was founded in 1280 AD and has at it’s center, a large section of the old walled city with cobblestone streets, citadels, and TONS and TONs of character. Sighi has 32,000 residents who are of primarily Hungarian, Romanian, and Roma (Gypsy) descent.

Having arrived at their home late at night, we stayed up chatting abit and had a yummy late dinner of Sarmali, Romanian cabbage rolls. We all slept in on Wednesday. After lunch (fried chicken and mashed potatoes), Roberta, a Nazarene Minister who came to her post in Romania from Arkansas in her early 50s, picked Valer and me up in her car and gave me a driving tour of the city and Veritas, the social service ministry that Ani had volunteered at and the one I would be leading 2 seminars for. Roberta has been a strong support person to Elena and she shares a home with Dorothy Tarrant, the Executive Director of Veritas, within the old city area of Sighisoara. Veritas maintains offices within 3 locations of the city. One serves as a family center and hosts meals for homeless and low income Roma kids, families, and the elderly and group activities; the other has offices for social work staff who work in their domestic violence program, children’s services, and elderly services; and the third has an international café (whose profits go to Veritas); classrooms for a Romania Studies program; and administrative offices. Veritas has about 30 staff and numerous volunteers and is the site of the first Domestic Violence program in the country, which was founded under a USAID grant shared by Veritas and Cornerstone University. The grant was spearheaded by my friend, Pammy. When domestic violence was finally outlawed in Romania (early 2004?), Pam and Dorothy partnered to get some legal and social support services going. Pam also ran Bethany’s $8 million Romanian child welfare development program in Bucharest from 1998-2001.

So Veritas is a pretty big deal and far larger in scope and services than I originally thought. I met several of the staff who were going to be in my seminars and really was impressed with the warmth and commitment they have to the community and kids / families they serve.

Then we went to the cemetery. Elena goes to the cemetery regularly, but she prefers to go alone or with one of her girlfriends, so she did not join us. The cemetery is visible from about a block away from the house. The cemetery is divided into sections by religion: Orthodox, Christian, Catholic, etc. Those without a church affiliation are apparently buried in the Orthodox section as well. Ani’s headstone and crypt are the largest and most beautiful in the Christian section. It is made of grey/black granite and has a photo of her carved into the headstone as well. There are lots of flowers around her grave. Elena clearly maintains it very well. Elena had told me that Ani’s grave cost them $3,000 American so Valer had recently taken a short term lucrative work gig in Spain to enable them to pay for the headstone and crypt as they earn alittle over $400/month (Valer is a welder for the gas company, Elena used to work for a factory that made ceramic coffee mugs).

That evening, they took me to the store where they insisted I could pick out some food that I liked to eat. I picked out a small bag of pretzels and some yogurt. We had a nice dinner of sarmali again (my fav) and potatoes. After dinner, the evening flew as we sat at their kitchen table (Romanian-English Dictionary in hand) and caught up on the various people/events in our lives. Through heavy use of the dictionary, gestures, some semblance of charades, and, when needed, drawing on paper with pens, we managed to communicate and they learned I now live in a padura (forest) in Vermont (state by Boston) in a rental house (casa) with 3 bathrooms and bears near by and I work with children (copile) who need families (mama and tata). I learned they hate George Bush, have Discovery Channel on their tv, love Obama, and that they blame Bush for the American economic crisis. We had animated discussion, to say the least, and then, jetlagged, I begged off to go sleep in the guest room.

Thursday, I was roused early (7am) to get ready for my 3 hour presentation at Veritas. (Remind me never to schedule these “volunteer” presentations for before 10am while I’m on vacation…i- yi-yi!!!). So showered (their apt has great water pressure), but hair all askew, I gulped down my two cups of Romanian coffee (3.5 spoonfuls of unstrained grounds in a cup with boiling water – wicked strong) and was picked up by Dorothy to go do my “thang.” The session actually went well, albeit I hardly got a word in edgewise once they got talking. We talked abit first about my background, their roles, and then profiles of 4 actual kids on their caseloads for us to assess and develop plans/strategies for. Some of the staff are social workers working with at-risk, low income, Roma (Gypsy) children and families. Others are pre-school teachers or work with at-risk adolescents in groups. I provided them with a general outline for assessing an individual child and then we got into the meat of one of the cases. Using two interpreters, most of the staff and I were able to communicate (me saying “dah dah dah = yes yes yes OR no no no =no no no).” The time went by quickly and so as we wrapped up, I asked them to think of two strategies for the remaining 3 cases for us to discuss the next day. It’s especially challenging because Sighisoara (and most of Romania) does not have the community services we have in the states, nor do they have politia (police) and state officials who can be relied on for appropriate action. So it’s really grassroots, how to intervene with families and make a difference without a continuum of services available in the community. We were scheduled from 8am – 2pm on Friday and then they also wanted me to do a fundraising workshop for them on an additional day (Monday). After the session, Roberta brought me back to the house where Elena made a nice chicken and french fry lunch for me. Then we took a taxi into town and walked around, had cafea (coffee) at an outdoor café, visited another grocery store where they bought me Romanian wine, Russian vodka, and 3 grapefruits (yes, I felt terrible, they would not allow me to pay for anything), and went to the farmer’s market. Oh, and Elena bought me my own Romanian-English Dictionary. Then Valer had a doctor’s appt at the Sighisoara hospital so we walked over to the hospital campus. According to Elena, while there is some health insurance available to them, medical care can be denied unless you pay bribes to the doctor. The hospital is older, the buildings decrepit, and the patients look as if they are in a lot of pain. A friend of Elena’s came out of one of the buildings with her elderly mother, whose arm was in a cast. Elena later explained how painful the x-ray and casting process is as their equipment is very old and the expertise of the physicians is not good. The mother looked like she was in such pain. I felt awful for her and totally understood why Ani should not have come back to Romania to die. It would have been a more painful, horrible experience than it was in the states. It was sad to see that this was the only choice for 32,000 hard working Romanian citizens of Sighisoara.

Thursday night we went out to dinner to a local pizza joint. We had HUGE calzones with ham, cheese, and mushroom. They were yummy. On the walk back home, some neighborhood boys were picking on another boy in the street. They were chasing him and kicking him. Elena intervened and “got right on those boys,” which seemed to help for the moment. The kids couldn’t be older than 9 or 10 years old. I was proud of her for standing up for him and glad to see her take action. That evening, I showed them photos of my house and Vermont (courtesy of a photo CD from my friend Mary which arrived right before I left) and we looked at some of the videos of Ani on Ani’s computer. It was a pretty emotional evening. But it enabled us to finally talk. Elena remains convinced that the American medical system killed her daughter and that cancer didn’t kill her. She continues to not understand the hospice system, why the doctor never gave Ani an IV until the end when she was hospitalized, and believes that Ani starved to death. Painfully, she relayed that she had seen on a Discovery Channel tv show how an American was jailed after not feeding his dog for 3 days – and she doesn’t understand why no one went to jail after Ani died. She said that sometimes she forgets that Ani died and she thinks she is in America at school. But singing hymns and writing poems helps her. She sings solos of old Romanian hymns at church on Sunday and in her kitchen, in the early morning, when she can’t sleep. She writes, she reads the Bible, and she is trying to turn it over to God. But she is still grieving. Her support system includes Dorothy and Roberta, but also her (gypsy) friend Valerika, a woman who was recently widowed and lives in the building. They have coffee every day in Elena’s kitchen in the morning after Valer leaves for work. I also met her friend Elizabeth, a Hungarian friend who lives above her. Elizabeth and Valerika are two people she will allow to go to the cemetery with her. She has not been able to go to Veritas without pain, so she hasn’t been very involved there yet. What I didn’t know was that when Elena came to Michigan last fall to be with Ani, she and Valer had 2 american college students that they were hosting as part of the Romanian Studies program. She proudly showed me photos of them and talked about how much she cared for them. She and Valer also hosted a young man named Logan early this year. I encouraged her to host students again. It clearly brought a sparkle to her eyes and she and Valer seemed to love having a young person around. She said maybe.

Friday I roused early (again) for my last day at Veritas. I had decided with Roberta and Elena to squeeze my fundraising mini-seminar into the day on Friday so I could spend Monday, my last morning in Sighisoara, with Elena. Roberta picked me up and we arrived at the Veritas café in the old city for my last session. We had a half hour of devotions first and then the staff and I spent some time brainstorming and dissecting the last 3 cases. I tried to be helpful in helping them develop strategies to engage the parents and care providers. There was a lot of frustration expressed about the suspected neglectful or abusive nature of the parents and, yet, the reality is, most of the cases would not meet the criteria for removal. Yes, there is substance abuse, yes, the kids come to school hungry or stay up to late, and yes, there are the frequent household moves as parents without resources move from one relative’s home to another – but unless you approach the parents with compassion and treat them as partners, little may change. Staff acknowledged that when they confront parents, the parents then remove the kids from the program. So re-framing their work into “what approach will work best to engage these parents in providing better for their children?” became more of our focus. I provided them with a model of teaming and role played how effective group meetings can engage parents in the process. We talked a lot about using social work skills to motivate and engage parents, as opposed to challenging and blaming them. We then took a quick 15 minute break and then re-grouped for a 1.5 hour session on “basic fundraising” with a select group of staff. Because Dorothy, their Executive Director, is retiring at the end of 2009, Veritas staff are particularly anxious about the future of the organization, which is nearly 100% reliant on donations. The staff really loved the framework for fundraising and I worked hard to present a model which could whether you had 10 donors or 100 donors. Then I role modeled some “asks” and when one of the staff tried it herself, I responded by handing her $80US ($220 Romanian Lei) to emphasize my point (since Elena and Valer had not let me spend any money yet, that was my first expenditure). Then we broke for lunch and ate lunch at the family center, where the kids groups and homeless kids/families eat. We had really yummy meatballs, Romanian sauerkraut, potatoes, and bread. Then Roberta brought me home. Elena, Valer, and I chatted about my day and they complimented me on my growing mastery of the Romanian language. (I am phonetically impressionable so was mastering the Romanian phonetics fairly well, if I don’t say so myself). That evening, Roberta picked us up for dinner at her house. Roberta made a yummy dinner of pork chops, gravy, green beans, potatoes, biscuits, and chocolate chip cookies for dessert. The house she shared with Dorothy is a large, spacious, Victorian style-home within the original walled city. It overlooks the city and has a lovely little patio and yard. Elena and Valer particularly liked the biscuits and crystal light lemonade. Elena told stories, and Roberta translated for me, about the televangalists she is watching on Romanian tv. There have been numerous stories of people who have converted from Orthodoxy to Christianity. As someone who practiced her faith sporadically before Ani’s death (but is now devout), she has been particularly interested in these testimonies. After dinner, Roberta drove us home and Valer and Elena and I sat up late and talked about everything – Romanian culture, American culture, Vermont, Michigan, friends, family, Romanian grammar, American grammar, the American stock market and economy, what Korea is like, what Spain is like (Elena’s brother and sister live in Spain and she has visited them there), what life under communism was like, what life in a “young” democracy is like, what bears in Vermont eat, etc. We laughed and talked, and talked and laughed every day. It was nice to see her smile so much. Every now and then, if I complimented her, she would pause and deflect it or become tearful as if it reminded her of Ani. But there were definitely times when you could see the “spirit” of Elena and it was a wonderful thing.

On Saturday we took a taxi to the bus station and took the bus 30 miles away to Targu Mures (Tour-gah More-esh) to spend some time with Valer’s brother. Valer’s brother is a “patron,” in that he owns 4 homes in TM, has 1,000 sheep on his sheep farm, and his wife owns a thriving retail store (magazin). They have two boys age 18 and 24. En route, we saw Elena’s hometown and went by the house she born in. Once in Targu Mores, I thought we were going to the farm, but we actually met them at one of their apts. Both boys speak English so their parents wanted them to speak English with me. Valer’s brother is named Dorelle. His first question of me, after they introduced me as someone who lives in the forested country in Vermont (I distinctly heard “casa” which is house, “Vermont,” and “Padura” which is forest in the introduction they gave), was “how much does a cow cost in America? How about a sheep?” Well darn… I didn’t know. Those were two items of information I forgot to bring with me. (Note: my guilt at not knowing continued post-trip so after I returned to the states, I quickly did a search on Vermont Craigslist and sent Elena a text message saying “A spune Dorelle: 1 vaca costa $500-950 US, 1 oie costa $100-250US” (Tell Dorelle 1 cow costs $500-950, and 1 sheep costs $100-250). Thank goodness for my new Romanian Dictionary!!!

So anyhow, his SECOND question for me, as translated by his 18 year old, Vladutz (pronounced Vla-doots), was “at what age will you decide to get married?” Not wanting to show myself as not being prepared AGAIN, I smiled and said “55.” That seemed to satisfy them.

With Dorelle and his wife, Dorina, we grazed on appetizers of pickled vegetables and drank Tsuica, vishay nata (Romanian plum brandy – wow is that strong, but yummy) and I chatted with the boys. Both spoke fairly good English, but Vladutz was more advanced than his older brother. Vladutz is the national champion of wrestling and a high school senior. He hopes to go to medical school and be a physician and perhaps do autopsies. He loves working on his father’s farm, has a good group of friends, and many American movies on his laptop – but no american friends. He wanted to show me his room and so he did and then he wanted to sit and chat there. So we did (although visions of Mary Kay LeTourneau were racing through my mind). But he sat on one bed and I sat on the other and he seemed intent on showing me many of his trophies and things in his room. Then his brother came in. Dorelle Jr (or DoDo as he is called, pronounced dough-dough) is 180 degrees different than his brother. DoDo just graduated the university with an economics major, hates the farm, loves the discos, and recently returned from a tour of Egypt. He is the player in the family. Tight black t-shirt, smart glasses, lots of cologne, and a cool attitude. Both feel fortunate that their parents’ businesses have afforded them such a nice lifestyle. Both asked about the violence in America and gangs. They talked abit about the drug culture among youth in Romania, the hardships of dating as young Romanian women want flashy cars and “rich guys” willing to blow a lot of money on them, and their career goals. Later, as Elena and Valer and I debriefed the evening (they were eager to know what the boys and I talked about), they shared that DoDo has been quite a challenge. His girlfriend of 6 years broke up with him last month and he has been doing quite a bit of partying on his parents’ dime lately. Dorelle Sr is not happy about it, but his mother is protective. Apparently Dorelle helps himself out of the cash register of his mother’s store and then spends 2500 lei per night ($800 US) at all night discos (called non stop discos). And he’s not made any serious efforts to find a job since he graduated from college in June 2008. But anyhow, I digress. Dorina served up a beautiful dinner orfcarne de porc (grilled pork), potatoes, and fruit and we enjoyed several versions of Tsuica, cappuccino, and wine before the night was out. While I was being grilled by the boys about American life in their room, sounds of animated talking and laughter came from the other room. Elena and Valer had a great time chatting with Dorelle and Dorina. They really seemed to enjoy each other’s company. Dorelle and Dorina are only in their mid-40s and their businesses keep them very busy, so it was nice for them to have an evening with family. DoDo drove us home that night and much to his Aunt/Uncle’s distress (and thus mine), drove 120 km an hour down curvy 2-lane mountain roads with Romanian hiphop music blaring, window open, while he was smoking. I was in front with him and suggested to him several times that he turn it down and slow down, but he refused. He did give us a driving tour of Targu Mores which is a beautiful large city (250,000) with a thriving, cosmopolitan downtown, numerous theaters, universities, a modern new hospital, and some great recreational venues (outdoor spa, stadiums, etc). I liked Targu Mores a lot.

When we got home, Elena and Valer made me laugh as they imitated the Romanian music DoDo had been blaring and talked about how fast he drove. We were all crackin’ up. They knew I tried to get him to slow down and turn the music down, but also that he was clearly “showing off” for the American. Dodo actually gave me the CD he had been playing when he dropped us off, and so I now I have my own Romanian hiphop to play as I drive the curvy mountain roads of Vermont! I don’t know what the songs are about, but one of them is about hotels, mafia, and champagne. It’s my favorite and when I played it for Julia and Joshua, they loved it too!

Sunday we went to church. Elena and Valer attend a small Nazarene Church led by Pastor Roberta. There were about 23 people there, 3 other Americans besides me. Roberta used both English and Romanian in the service and Elena sang two solos. She has a beautiful voice. Everyone at church seemed to know her and greeted her warmly and genuinely. I was happy to see her connected to this community. After church, Elena grilled the sausage and pork she had been marinating and we had some more vishay nata and a BIG Sunday dinner. They asked me questions about my family ( I believe I drew my family genogram about 7 times on this trip), my work, crime in America, and numerous other topics. Honestly, I don’t think there was a topic we did NOT talk about. Then after lunch, Elena’s friend Elizabeth came down and showed me her son’s wedding photos. We also talked and she told me, as best she could, that on the news, she saw “two men… Obama… bang bang…prison.” So I thought Obama had been murdered while I was here internet – and cnn - less in Romania! I-yi-yi… later that afternoon I found some euro-news on tv and while it was in Romanian, it did show Obama doing the usual pre-election stuff and never showed anything resembling an assassination attempt so I figured it was ok. That evening, we kind of lounged about and watched tv, chatting here and there, and otherwise had a quiet evening.

Monday I woke LATE (11am) and Elena made a big lunch of chicken, porc, and sausage so she could feed me REALLY well before I left for my train ride to Bucharest. Roberta drove us to the train and Valer told Roberta that they were going to have a sad evening since Mary was leaving. I think my visit was a nice distraction. Valer had taken a full week’s vacation to have that time to spend with me and Elena and I “clicked” with him as much as I did with Elena. He is just a sweet, sweet man. So they got me on the train ($15US for an 180 miles/ 5 hour train ride to Bucharest) and I was seated in a small section with an older couple, an older gentleman, and a young man. Transylvania is filled with hills (Deals they say, Dee-ahls) so I took several pictures of villages and the landscape. The older couple got off the train at an earlier stop and as he exited our section, he said “you Japonaise?” I said no, Korea. He then said, “ I was in Okinawa in WWII with the Romanian military.” That was it. Then he left. And I was just startled that on a train in Transylvania, someone recognized I was Asian – I so often forget people that see me as Asian or I think I look “ethnically ambiguous.” I also never knew the Romanian military was in Japan during WWII. I can be so ignorant sometimes. The other older man in our car then showed me his pictures of the recent tour he and his wife made of Europe. He highly recommends Greece by the way. He is Hungarian by descent and is married to a Romanian woman, with his first grandchild due in December. He was a lovely man. Filled with stories of life before and after communism fell in 1989, he was a delightful and informative companion for the rest of my journey. At the train station in Bucharest, he helped me with my luggage and made sure I was ok. Dorothy met me at the train station and we went and stayed at the church missionary house overnight before I caught my plane to Boston the next morning. Bucharest has changed a lot – so many hotels, banks, and casinos. They are everywhere. Traffic was horrible and yet there were some familiar points of interest that I remembered from my trip 8 years ago. But much of “old Bucharest” is giving way to Starbucks, mega warehouses, malls, luxury car dealerships, Ikea stores, and numerous other “signs” of prosperity. We still were able to grab a dinner of greek salad at a nice Romanian restaurant for about $4US each, but I’m sure in the coming years, those bargain prices will soon disappear as well. As I left, I was hoping that as the Romanian economy continues to evolve, it will create communities centered around things other than casinos and hotels. Since Romania joined the European Union, it no longer qualifies for USAID grants (because it’s not a developing nation, it’s a member of the EU). So what has been good for the economy of the nation, is a huge setback (in my mind) for the type of supports their social service system needs to strengthen and advance their capacity to serve children, families, and the elderly. They are far less equipped in this area than their fellow EU countries given the “youth” of their democracy. I hope that the in-country businesses take a more visible role and that other “providers” (be them foundations or partners) can be engaged in the process. What a fascinating place. To have seen it at 11 years into establishing a capitalist / democratic society post-communism and now again at 19 years in, the changes are rapid, some good and some bad.

So that’s it. That was my trip. I had a really amazing time and am so grateful I had the time with Elena to experience her world. I cannot imagine the grief of losing your only child in foreign country and having to bring her body home. My goal was to be sure that Elena knew we remembered her too and thought of her often. While the circumstances that brought all of us together last fall were tragic, my life is richer and more blessed by Pam, Felicia, Daniel, Father Frunza, Nermine, Judit, Joni – and especially Elena, and now Valer. “Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Others stay awhile, make footprints on our hearts and we are never, ever the same.” Anonymous





*